J is for Judging Others

Judging others. A two word phrase that could easily cause us to stumble. The Savior taught us, "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged (Matthew 7:1-2). We need to be careful with how we look at and treat others. Often times, there is much more going on than what we can physically see. It is very easy to misjudge others at first glance or even after knowing them for quite some time.

There comes to my mind a story that was told by the prophet Thomas S. Monson:

"A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash.
'That laundry’s not clean!' Lisa exclaimed. 'Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!'
John looked on but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments.
A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, 'Look, John--she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.'
John replied, 'Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!'
...Are we looking through a window which needs cleaning? Are we making judgments when we don’t have all the facts? What do we see when we look at others? What judgments do we make about them?
Said the Savior, 'Judge not.' (Matthew 7:1) He continued, 'Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?' (Matthew 7:3) Or, to paraphrase, why beholdest thou what you think is dirty laundry at your neighbor’s house but considerest not the soiled window in your own house?
None of us is perfect. I know of no one who would profess to be so. And yet for some reason, despite our own imperfections, we have a tendency to point out those of others. We make judgments concerning their actions or inactions.
There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: 'Judge not.'" ("Charity Never Faileth")

We all have areas in which we fall short. Do we want others to focus only on those things with which we struggle? We must not do this to others.

We must also be careful not to judge others according to their circumstances for our circumstances do not reflect who we truly are. A shinning example of this, for me at least, is the popular Disney character Aladdin.

Aladdin was a very poor young man living in the streets of Agraba. He was always scrapping for food and as a result was always on the run from the palace guards. Everyone referred to him as "street rat." Aladdin never took their criticisms to heart though, he continued to show kindness and compassion to others. In a moment of self reflection Aladdin states, "if only they'd look closer, would they see a poor boy? No siree! They'd find out, there's so much more to me." This proves to be quite true as later he is sought out as "the diamond in the rough." This phrase means "a person who is generally of good character but lacks manners, education, or style" (New Oxford American Dictionary). Aladdin didn't have the best in life and outwardly appeared to be someone of little consequence but with a heart of gold. We are implored to remember that people, "like so many things, it is not what is in the outside, but the inside that counts." This same concept is told to us in the Bible where we read, "the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7).

It is so important to remember how the Lord sees each individual so that we can look past how we naturally see someone. To quote Thomas S. Monson, "Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this profound truth: 'If you judge people, you have no time to love them.' The Savior has admonished, 'This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.' (John 15:12) I ask: can we love one another, as the Savior has commanded, if we judge each other? And I answer--with Mother Teresa: no, we cannot."

This leads me to think of the Old Testament prophet Jonah. The Lord told him to teach repentance to the people of Ninevah, a very wicked city. He was very reluctant to accept the task, thinking the people would surely reject him and the words of God. After some persuasion from God, in loving being in the belly of a whale for three days, Jonah ends up going to Ninevah and preaching repentance to the people and that Ninevah would be destroyed. Upon hearing this, the people of Ninevah humbled themselves before God and repented of the evils they had done. God recognized their true change of heart and so turned away His anger from them and didn't destroy the city. Jonah couldn't let go of his judgement of the people though and was angry with the Lord for sparing Ninevah. He was so busy judging them by their past that he left no room in his heart to love what they had become. (For full account see Jonah.)

It takes a great deal of charity to refrain from judging others. As we grow more in our charity and love towards each other, "[we] will avoid judging others, criticizing them, or saying negative things about them. [We] will try to understand them and their points of view. [We] will be patient with them and try to help them when they are struggling or discouraged." (Preach My Gospel: "Charity and Love")

Each of us has judged and been judged falsely. It is never a pleasant or peaceful feeling no matter which side of it you're on. It is not our place to judge. "But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ" (Romans 14:10). Christ is the ultimate judge and all of His judgements are just and perfect, far different from our own. Therefore, let us leave it in the hands of Christ and judge less and love more.